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adoptionistrauma

Abuse

Physical Abuse

If my adoptive parents were angry for whatever reason, they would take that anger out on me.


I was regularly beaten with using a Bamboo – Strap - Jug cord – Belt – Vacuum pole.  Whatever they could find that could inflict pain they used.


Bare bum beatings were their favourite as it infliced more pain with the promise I would not be able to sit for a week.


Bare back beatings were also common. As a growing child these beatings have long lasting damage to my spin which has affected me in my adult life. My spin has brittle bones because of the beatings.


To this day I can still feel the sting across my back and it sill makes me shudder at the memory of the pain.


If I fought back or yelled, I had my mouth washed out with soap.


Broken Arm.


My arm was broken 6 times.  Not once did our family doctor question the answers given by my adoptive mother.  The doctor believed every word out of her mouth. 


I did speak up once, when I was in room 10 at Inglewood Primary School, but was told I was a liar.  I spoke up at school to my teacher who I had a strong connect with and always treated me nicely.  She was the first person who ever believed me.  I felt relief and thought maybe now my adoptive parents would get in trouble and the beatings would stop.  My teacher spoke with the office manager Mrs Madg about the situation but Mrs Madg told my teacher I was nothing but a liar.  I vividly remember the words Mrs Madg said to my teacher about me being part Maori and of course you can’t trust Maori, they are all liars.  Mrs Madg told my teacher I was just clumsy and always had bruises because of my clumsiness.  I tired to say that was not right but I was told to shutup.  After that my teacher started to treat me differently and regularly accused me of being a liar. 

This day is etched into my memory.


Locked in my Room.

I was locked in my room and not allowed to go outside and play with the neighbourhood kids as my adoptive brother was allowed to as I was an embarrassment to the family. 


I spent most of my childhood locked in my room reading books and drawing designs of clothes I one day wanted to make.


Verbal and Emotional Abuse

I was verbally abused and threatened daily from when I was a child to the day my adoptive mother died.  


I had nice long hair which everyone complimented me on, my adoptive mother had it cut off to my ears the day before school photos when I was about 6 years old.


Verbal abuse I was subjected to on a regular basis was horrific by my adoptive parents and grandmother.  These regular church attending people had an in public persona and an in private persona.


Some of what I was subjected to regularly was:


You are too fat

You are stupid

You are a no hopper like your biological parents were

You will end up a single teenage mum like your biological mother

You will never amount to anything

You have Maori blood in you, you will end up a loser on a benefit

You are a waste of the $200 we paid the church for you



The abuse I endured as a child has carried on through my life and even as an adult, I faced the same abuse from my adoptive parents and grandmother.

Christmas day was the worst.  It was like I was their verbal punching bag and their entertainment to see how much abuse they could hurl at me.  As an adult my children witnesses this abuse and we no longer celebrate Christmas, it has too many bad memories. 

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